The Holidays Suck

People are so tense. Every day is a head-up-the-butt day on the roads and in parking lots. While I was walking across a parking lot today, a car stopped to allow me to cross, while another pulled around to pass the first car, almost hitting me. I gave the driver the furry eyeball and mouthed something along the lines of, "Why do you think people are stopping?" He rolled down his window, called me a bitch, and said that I was in the middle of the road causing problems. After I walked to my car, I began developing this elaborate fantasy, where I was an undercover cop who would suddenly turn to him, flash my badge and say, "Watch your mouth and watch your temper. First of all, let's get a few things straight. This is a parking lot, not a road, and you do not have right of way in this situation. Do you and your small penis wish to get a road rage ticket? I didn't think so. So, relax. Chill out. And don't ever call me, or any other woman, a bitch, ever again. Are we clear?"

In my daydream, the look on his face is priceless.