Work It, Girl

I have now worked out, either walking, swimming, or yoga, for four days in a row. A recent record for me. I know what I do wanna. I want to be Bette Midler's character in Ruthless People. I want to be kidnapped by sweet, bumbling people who treat me decently and lock me in a basement full of exercise equipment and workout videos. I think about six months would do it. I'll be exempted from my normal expectations, I'll get a bunch of sympathy and attention, and I'll get out just in time for the best of summer. The new book can go to hell. Maybe they'd even let my hubby and dogs have visitation rights. I guess I'd miss 'em.