What I Learned Last Night

If you b.y.o. bedsheet, which we did to avoid the whole dog hair/lint roller scenario, you must tuck it in somehow, or else, during the course of an hour of sleeping, it will ensnare you in an evil net of 100% cotton, so that when the alarm goes off at midnight, because you reset the blinking clock when you came into the room but didn't check the alarm setting, you will not almost fall out of bed, taking two miniature wieners with you.